Musings of Membership

I'm not dead, just employed. I'll have to fix that.

One thing about reviews in general is you're getting the reviewer's take after a very short time with whatever he's reviewing. No one ever talks about the extended experience with the product because no one ever writes a review after spending a long time with the product. The more famous the reviewer, the worse this problem gets--these guys are paid to be funny about something once a week.

So at somewhat regular points I'll describe what it's like to be a member of whatever. Such posts will have the "lifestyle" tag.

Brazzers: I love and hate Brazzers. It is a paragon of photo and video quality to the point where most stolen images you see (on caption sites) are from Brazzers. The women are famous in their industry, and to get such fame one must be scorchingly hot even while not having sex. With the top quality women in top quality photography, what could go wrong?

Brazzers makes no sense sometimes. For instance, if you read their plot summaries they are alarmingly pro-emasculation. Particularly in the Big Tits in Sports section which usually involves a guy losing to a girl and then she gives him pity sex. Well, whatever gets the vaj on the dick I suppose.

No, I don't suppose. I demand more from my porn. You lured me in here with promises of a story, now make a good one and keep it as part of the sex. I'm tired of just two idiots fucking. When I care about the characters and when it actually means something for them to be having sex, the scene is that much hotter.

If that sounds good, you might want to try...

JSexNetwork: I will love you forever for getting Taimanin Asagi Live-Action. That film is an example of what I'm talking about. Asagi's first sex scene is between characters we've met and care about, at least a little. Also, the entire first sex scene is driving a plot. The point is that the Japanese treat their subject matter with respect and the finished product comes out better. Americans know that light shows, smoke and mirrors sell product, so they make a shit product and focus on the light shows to sell it.

Sure they have fuck films too. They're just up front about it. "Maria Ozawa in Lewd Body Hard Sex." They're not trying to tell me Maria Ozawa is playing a scientist but all they do is slip a lab coat on her and it's off for sexing in 5 minutes.

Hentai Key: They have tons of sites but you're only going to need 3. Hentai Movie Planet, Master Bloodfer for doujinshi, and Hentai Guess for games--Like the Taimanin Asagi game which has an English crack. (Seeing the game in English provides much insight into the movie.) Most of the other sites look like they were coded in the late 90s (and probably were) but believe it or not, the downloads work.

Honestly, I find myself rifling through their sites for a rare comic or game that's caught my curiosity. It's a great resource to have on hand. Downloading even one movie, book, or game makes the whole thing worth the price of admission.

PubaCash: I'm not a big fan of individual star sites, but the membership decision here is a no-brainer. Are you an Asa Akira fan? Yes? Then go sign up. There are 14 sites on their network and one of them is general porn, but really you're a fan of that particular performer. Go check out their stuff. Want to collect all a girl's videos? Get to it.

Follow the links in my Porn Worth Buying window to all of these sites. Chrystal Wynd's site is free and there is a new story up. If it isn't posted there yet, it is at the Erotic Mind Control Story Archive.

Site Issues

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Grow Your Penis By 6762 Miles

Stretch your erection halfway around the world, for at long last it is time to cover the JSexNetwork--the best source of Japanese porn I have ever seen. I have to admit this is kind of cheating. I'm already familiar with the JSexNextwork and I'm happy to be back on it. So before I get into the opinionated stuff, let's cover the Unbiased Facts:

The J Sex Network

Join if you love/skip if you hate: Japanese girls...they count as "Asian."
Cost: 1 candy bar a day
Come For The: Feature-length adult videos; short, pleated, schoolgirl uniforms
Stay For The: The Weird Stuff

Japan is the weirdness capital of the world.
Find the Japan 1 Fuck Grand Prix Championship in their "Exclusive AV Programs" section.

The Signup Story

There is no loud "Join Now" button in your face. In fact, non-members can browse all sections of the site. Only movie downloads and full-sized images aren't available. When ready, click on registration. Memberships are recurring, so mark your calendar with a cancellation date. (Of course, I want you to subscribe through my affiliate links and stay forever, but I don't need chargebacks or angry readers.)

Signup was rather painless since my Brazzers signup showed me the hard way which credit card won't go apeshit on me. (HSBC Mastercard.) You can choose between 30 and 60 days, with the 60-day option saivng you about $7.90. (Extra Starbucks for YOU!)

Your username and passcode are nine-digit numbers given to you on signup. Plus: No bickering over usernames, no typing and retyping passwords. Minus: You almost have to copy and paste your login. Browsers have "REMEMBER PASSWORD" checkboxes. USE THEM.

I went to D-Bank to download the movie that made me go "holy shit, it's time to join JSexNetwork again:"

Ninjas AND tentacles? Where do I sign up?
By the way, it isn't that I expect this film to be jizztastic. (It probably will be.) There's a "Dude, you gotta see this" aspect at work here. Live-action anime. Ninjas. I'm in.

Click the movie you want and you have to copy/paste your password again. Check the "remember" box. Here's where you need some Japanese patience. This isn't a Tube Site where you click and watch a stream. You're downloading a feature-length movie. Right-click, "Save Target As." My technology is shitty so I waited about half an hour for my 2GB download in two files. This is the part where you multi-task and reward yourself later.


You worked hard. You deserve one of these.

I did have a problem with the first download, it seemed to save the shortcut rather than the file. I refreshed the page and all was well.

Here's another cool thing: Verotel, the merchant provider of many adult sites, now has a QuickCharge account. If you agree to log in you don't have to keep entering your data. If you're using the Internet as a porno-go-round, that's awesome.

So that's the story of JSexNetwork. This post says nothing of the amazing and wonderful differences between Japanese porn and American (more toys; more big, natural breasts; innovative plots and scenes) nor has it reviewed a movie. Tune in next week for Taimanin Asagi (Ninja Demon Hunter Asagi).