Monday, September 6, 2010

Deathmatch: Get Me Tori Black Double Penetrated

DING DING DING!

In the Pay corner, weighing in at $0.27 per day, it is the self-professed "World's Best Porn Site" with over 1,000 stars at its disposal, BRAZZERS.COM!

In the Free corner, it is the #5 Ranked Google Exact Match for "Free Porn," it has a DVD section, LOVEROFPORN.COM!



Click here for the Deathmatch Rules


Combatants, the dice have been cast and the result is: Tori Black being double penetrated.

In 31.66 seconds, I was able to load Brazzers.com up, type "Tori Black" into the search window and have a choice of seven movies:


Only seven? Bitch better work harder.


There is no double penetration video, so Brazzers is going to submit Best Birthday Ever, the only movie of the seven that seems to have a third person.

And now I have to adjust my chart because there's no entry for two girls and one guy. That can wait for another challenge. Anyway before we total the points let's look at the challenger:

I typed "Tori Black" into the search window at www.loverofporn.com and instead of search results, this came up:


These are not search results.


Stop the match! A registration gateway blocking search results? That's below the belt. Worse, I didn't ask to see "Sperm Drippers 1" and I'm not here to create an account. Who knows where my info will be sent. I'll fill out your form, but you pull another stunt like that and you're disqualified.

So I fill out the info, fake data of course. Then this screen came up.



If it's free, why do you need my credit card number?


The site is free--for one day. There is fine print at the bottom that they don't expect you to read. It says:

* After 1 days, uncanceled free accounts conveniently convert into standard accounts billed at $39.95 monthly.
**Bonus $1.20 memberships rebill after 10 days at $34.95 per month until canceled.


Basically, their sales pitch depends on the customer going through three steps. 1) Search for free porn. 2) do something tedious so you'll pull out the credit card rather than turn away. 3) forget to cancel after 1 day.

What's the "bonus $1.20" thing about? See how there's a box checked there for you? That's a subscription to another porn site that they hope you won't notice. They intended to charge you $74.90 without even showing you search results.

LOVER OF PORN IS HEREBY DISQUALIFIED FOR NOT ACTUALLY BEING A FREE SITE

.

That shit was disgusting. At least pay sites don't say they're free before charging you $74.90. That's almost an entire year with Brazzers. Oh, speaking of which:

THE WINNER:



WWW.BRAZZERS.COM


Hold on there, Brazzers, you're not getting off that easy. I'm going to find you a real opponent. Google #3 perhaps?

2 comments:

  1. Nice list of Tori Black nude movies. I am having lots of hardcore videos of her and every time she makes my cum just in seconds. I have never seen her double anal video so i am very curious for download it.
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    ReplyDelete