Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Subscriptions, Save Me

I'm as far from home as I can physically be. I can't mack real women, and I have limited use of the language here anyway. It costs $12 for one, shitty hotel adult movie. Net connections are slow, and my shitty travel netbook doesn't have a DVD drive. Plus, this thing automatically detects my region and makes my netbook display East Asian characters, but I don't have East Asian fonts installed. So, no local text reading either.

Which web site will save me?

I logged in to Hentai Key but I couldn't get Hentai Movie Planet to load. Might be a local legality issue or perhaps the hyperdrive is broken. That was yesterday, let me try again.

I have to reload the page a few times but things are coming up. Apparently you don't get great speeds at foreign hotels using my shitty travel netbook. Who knew. Hmmm...

Hentai Movie Planet won't load.

Orgasmic Animation, the second choice, is up! Cool, I wanna see Mistreated Bride 3. They don't stream, so I have to download. Actually it's both. You click the link and it opens a YouTube style viewing window that won't play right until enough content is downloaded. See how I'm really roughing it out here?

The Mistreated Bride series is good by the way. Hot sex with a MILF who's big on the tits and small on the willpower. Lots of incest but it's related-by-marriage, so you can pretend the half-relations are full-relations if you like incest and non-relations if you don't.

Well, I'm going to have to run that on a real computer. Let's try Brazzers.

OK, the connection is so bad here it took the Member Login page 10 seconds to load. Doesn't bode well for digital media. Login, password, CAPCHA...yeah, a site that big they probably get a lot of burgulars trying to pound down that door.

Being in the far east has given me a craving for Asian food, and by "food" I mean "fap material." Let's look at the Brazzers Asian selection; they have a pull down menu.

Son, I am disappoint.

The first hit is for a movie with Keiran Lee. I guess they figured "Lee" gets the Asian tag. Keiran Lee is British. And a dude. The other hits aren't much closer. Got this hot blonde in a kimono-like thing though.

I have Brazzers for, like a year. Really, for a little under $99 you get it for a whole year, phucken steal. I don't know if it's the right site for me. Great shots, but...well, all their movies are the same. Spoiler: blowjob, spank, fuck, blowjob, money shot.

HEY! Hentai Movie Planet loaded! That took forever. Let me just click on this movie I want to see and...*sigh* wait for it to load.

...

JsexNetwork.com doesn't work out here either. I hope it's that. Wouldn't want to return home to find them not existing anymore. THERE's some Porn Worth Watching.

2 comments:

  1. Gotta correct what I said about Mistreated Bride 3. There's mother/son full-on incest. Good news for some, bad news for me. I tried to pretend otherwise but I know the Japanese word for "mother." See what education gets you? Ruined incest porn, that's what.

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